Falling Apart

I was too weak to hold on.
I was too weak to fight.
To fight is just to give me more burden.
I was too weak to be strong.
Too weak that I cannot go anywhere.
Day by day, I am like leaves in a tree.
Each leaf falling apart.

Created: 27 May 2001 12:46 PM
Edited: 19 December 2006 1:08 PM
Mark Ferdinand Tayag

Child

I see myself as a child.
A child lived with pain and angst.
A child born to be strong,
But embraced with defeat and sorrows.
I gave up being strong,
I ended being wasted.
I ended being a big crap.
I ended stop dreaming,
And having crazy hallucinations.

Created: 17 July 2001 10:50 AM
Edited: 12 December 2006 1:08 PM
Mark Ferdinand Tayag

Tension

One more week, and I am done.
My life would be captivated again,
And my heart would be chained once again.

One black soul, a strong one
That really frightens my nerve.
How I wish my soul will be fine.
Full of tension, angst and fear.

Created: 5 March 2000 8:00 PM
Mark Ferdinand Tayag

Resolved

I am resolved with the way I look.
I am resolved that loneliness is my companion.
I am resolved in being optimistic
I am resolved that my security blanket is to keep still.
I am resolved that love is just a word without meaning.
I am resolved that happiness is just a rightful amount of chocolate.
I am resolved that time would continue to tick leaving me behind.

Created: 24 November 2006 10:35 PM
Mark Ferdinand Tayag

When In Love

When I am in love, I turn out to be funny.
It tends me to act differently.
When I am in love, I turn out to be selfish.
It tends me to grab that person until suffocation.
When I am in love, I turn out to be excited.
It tends me to do things unexpectedly and absurdly.
When I am in love, I turn out to be fun.
It tends me to feel so light like I am in Cloud 9.
When I am in love, it turns out to be everything I wanted.
Felt being loved, cared and appreciated.
Sharing myself, the whole me to that special person.

Created: 5 March 2000 11:58 PM
Edited: 23 November 2006 12:40 PM
Mark Ferdinand Tayag

Undecided

There is no sense of running.
Decision has to be made,
Even it is not for my own good.

I made the decision,
But consequences echoed regrets
I'm still undecided of that decision is correct.

Created: 22 July 2000 3:12 PM
Mark Ferdinand Tayag

What I Want

What I just want is to be happy.
I just want to be loved and to be cared.
Are those big words for me?
Why can't I have those?
For the past 19 years of my existence,
What I've been through is too much.
I needed love, but instead it was hatred.
I needed care and support, but instead it was disappointment.
I just live to paint my face with charcoal black.
And a face with a yellow fake smile.

Is that hard to get?
But how come it's so hard for me?
How come?

Created: 27 May 2001 1:11 PM
Mark Ferdinand Tayag

The Long Wait

I can never believe this instance,
That my long wait is over
Now, that you're coming and leaving things behind
I am so fortunate to have you back in my arms
My long wait is over
And your waiting is no more ages.

Created: 10 December 1999 11:45 PM
Mark Ferdinand Tayag

Not Again

I am that eager to face my fears
And to start again another chapter in my life
It was bitter and unpleasant
Not the instances I thought of.
It was then okay.

I turned the next page
And I had found love
It was so kind, brittle and sincere
It was so fast that commitment is in our way.
It was really love and much love.

I'm on the next chapter
Things turn out right
Love becomes deeper and deeper

But my fears haunt me
Complications that arise makes me think
Am I ready for such things?

I was on the last chapter
It was tragic, not again
It was my fears who conquer me.

Created: 16 January 2000 12:04 PM
Mark Ferdinand Tayag

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry that I've caused you pain.
I'm sorry that I lost your trust in me, I'm really sorry.

I'm sorry that I'm still in love with you,
That I can't move on. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I still think that you never loved me.
That you just waited me for me to do a mistake to set me away,
I'm really sorry.

I'm sorry that I continue to love you,
even you don't love me anymore. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I'm erasing you in my life,
but I can't, I'm really sorry.

I'm sorry if I have ignored you recently, I'm sorry.
I just want to move on and go on with my life.
Coz every time I hear from you,
it makes my life more harder. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for all the bad things I've done.
All I want is for you to be happy,
And feel that you are loved by me. I'm really sorry.

I'm sorry for still cherishing the happy moments we had.
That just makes me more sadder. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for trying my best to win you back before.
I'm sorry--I just want you to know that I really love you.
I'm sorry if I was a mess in your life.
I'm just crazy-still in love with you.

I'M SORRY!

Created: 3 November 2001 3:25 AM
Mark Ferdinand Tayag